These past 2 weeks have been an extraordinary time of change and expansion in my life. It’s been quite an intense experience! In a nutshell, I would describe what I have been hitting up against as a ‘Fear Of Success’. I would like to share with you my process for being with this fear and the tools that I use to move through it. I hope that this will empower you to move forward through your fears and welcome in the great life that is waiting for you on the other side.
As you may have seen in my last blog, I recently got back from a public speaking training. This training stretched me in so many amazing and challenging ways, and the stretching has not stopped since! The day after I got back from Portugal, my husband decided to hand in his notice at work, 16 years at a secure salary job, and now he is going freelance. It’s 100% the right thing for him to do but it’s exciting and scary at the same time! The following day I got a call from a friend inviting me to co-write a book together. She has written 14 books, I have written 0, an honour to be asked, but exciting and scary! I have just booked a week long writers retreat to get the support I need to write my first book. Exciting and scary! When I was away I was given a new topic to focus on in my business from The Universe (my inner guidance). This new topic is really fun and exciting but it’s out of my comfort zone. I know how important this topic is for Light Leaders, but it’s another big change. Exciting and scary! (More on my new topic to come soon! I can’t wait to share it with you.)
As you can see, there has been a lot of really exciting changes showing up in my life during the last 2 weeks. It’s all happening at once! Now on paper, it’s all really positive, wonderful stuff. All of it is good! So why have these last couple of weeks been so challenging for me? I realised that I was deep in the fear of success. Not so much the fear of failure, although I have that too, but the fear of taking my life to the next level.
My first response through all of this great change was to freeze. I went into a partial shut down. The symptom I felt was exhaustion and overwhelm. My mind was going crazy trying to figure out and integrate these new changes and my body wanted to hide under the duvet and sleep. I new that I was in something deep but I couldn’t quite see the wood for the trees. Very soon I got out all my tools and began processing what was coming up for me.
My first step was to sit with the discomfort. While meditating, I dove into the feelings in my body and sat there until I could get some clarity on what was going on. I felt my inner child (more on Inner Child healing here), the little girl in me. My inner child was terrified, she was in a total panic. Her world was changing and she didn’t know what was going on. It was as if she had entered a new unknown world, not unlike the world in the movie Avatar, where there were different creatures, different plants, different beings and a whole new amazing but potentially dangerous world. There was no escape in this new world, no where to hide. My inner child felt exposed, uncertain and very unsafe.
From this image that I saw in my minds eye, I realised that the changes I have been going through have taken me into a new reality, a new world. My life as I have known it is no longer. I have moved into a new vibration, a new dimension of being. I was deep in the process of the old falling away to make room for the new. The fear was so strong that it felt like I was dying. A bit dramatic perhaps, but in truth, there was a death happening, an ego death, a death of the old. This death of the old can leave your Inner Child and Ego feeling very threatened which can lead to all sort of interesting responses and reactions.
The fascinating thing for me during this experience over the past 2 weeks is that all the changes showing up in my life are positive, they are all good, and yet my ego response to it is not a positive one. As a result I have had to do a lot of work on myself and use all of my tools and practices to move through these changes with greater ease. The tools work, when you use them. I would love to share what I do in these intense times of change to help you through yours.
Our reactions to what shows up in our life makes life so much harder and more draining than it needs to be. Most of the challenges that we experience can be changed and shifted, simply by shifting our response to what life is presenting. There is always a path of greater ease and grace in every situation.
My practice for the Fear of Success (and for every challenge!):
- Meditate – stop, sit and breath. Breath your focus and attention into your body and feel the feelings there. When the mind wanders, bring it back to the body. Stay present with the intensity of the feelings. When you sit there long enough, eventually you will find greater peace and balance. Allow a minimum of 20 minutes if you can. If you want help with your meditation practice, sign up for my free meditation course here
- Let Go – The practice of letting go is like going through a mini-death process. This is not a physical death of course, but a death on the ego level. An ego death can feel really physical at times. The more you practice letting go, the easier all of life becomes. I recommend lying flat on your back with a pillow under your head and knees if you have lower back pain. This is called Savasana or Corpse Pose in yoga. Lie there for a minimum of 10 minutes each day. It’s a wonderful way for your mind and body to let go and rebalance. After the Ego stops fighting, letting go feels so good!
- Support – You were never meant to do this alone. Reach out and get support. I have a number of different sources that I use for support and help through change. My favourite is receiving healing. Friends are great and an important resource, but in this case I recommend getting professional support as well. It’s not a weakness to receive support, it’s absolutely necessary. All successful people get professional help and support. Ask yourself ‘who or what can help me with this?’ Then take action and book that support in.
- Receive – Now that you have stopped, let go, and been supported, allow yourself to receive all of the amazing goodies that The Universe has to offer you. These universal energies are here to guide you towards greater expansion, freedom, Joy and possibility. When you stop and let go, this will naturally happen. Drop your barriers and let the divine goodness in.
These practices help me to get back into balance, clarity, peace and trust. After these practices I am able to courageously move forward with greater ease and grace, knowing that all is well and everything is flowing as it is supposed to. The Ego mind has a tendency to make mountains out of mole hills. When you make time to calm the Ego down, life becomes much more manageable.
I have the gift of being able to see what is possible for your life, the big vision of your soul’s potential in this lifetime. What I get to see if the most incredible thing! The Universe (God, Source Energy) loves you and truly wants to gift you with so much more than you have been willing to receive. It’s time to let that in.
Opening up to receive more from The Universe and all of life requires you to open and expand, what I have referred to as being stretched. This experience takes you beyond your comfort zone, out beyond the walls that you know so well, into the new, into the unknown. This can be a very uncomfortable process, but a necessary one if you are going move forward towards the life that you were born to live.
Please reach out for support. You were never meant to do this alone. There is always a way through even the most challenging situations.
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