The other day,  at the end of a healing session, my client said to me “I die on your table”.  Wow!  What a statement.  I would like to share with you what this means.

UnknownDo you remember those cartoons when the main character is in conflict about the right choice to make and then suddenly a devil appears on one shoulder and an angel on the other, giving the character conflicting advice?  Well, it’s not that dissimilar in reality.  What I observe is that we have two parts of ourselves.  We have the Higher Self or the Soul, the conscious, all knowing, all seeing part, represented by the Angel and we have the Ego, the personality self or the Small Self, represented by the Devil.  These two parts of ourselves are often in conflict with one another, and very often, the Ego wins.

The Ego functions from a place of separation.  The ego is focused on the ‘I’, what it gains from life.  The Ego has a very limited perspective on life and tends to cling on to things.  This is because the ego sees the world from a limited point of view,  experiencing a world of lack and scarcity.

These are some of the experiences that come from functioning from the Ego….

The Ego creates:

  • fear/anxiety
  • loneliness
  • greed
  • jealousy
  • lack
  • low self esteem/self worth
  • lack of confidence
  • defensiveness
  • violence towards self or others
  • abuse of self or others
  • superiority
  • inferiority

When we are moving through life guided by our Higher Self, these are some of the thing you can experience…

Being lead by the Higher Self gives the experience of:

  • connection
  • purpose
  • trust
  • peace
  • love
  • gratitude
  • tolerance
  • allowance
  • acceptance
  • understanding
  • abundance
  • kindness
  • empathy
  • joy/happiness
  • openness
  • surrender
  • oneness

In short, functioning from the Ego creates pain, suffering and a miserable life.  Functioning from the level of the Higher Self creates an abundant, purposeful, joyful life.  Which life would you like to create?

How to kill the Ego, or at least, put it to sleep.

images-3Let’s imagine that the Ego is like a wild Dragon.  The first step to managing this Dragon is to calm it down.  When working with clients, I sooth and calm the Ego down eventually putting it to sleep.  When the Ego is calm, or asleep, there is space for the Higher Self to come in and take over.

Here are some ways to calm down the Ego and put that Dragon to sleep…

  1. Hello Ego  – next time you have a reaction, of any kind, acknowledge that this is simply the Ego.  I like to talk to the Ego which gives it space to be heard.  I say “Hello Ego.  So how are you feeling today? What’s going on?” I listen to what it has to say. “So, you are feeling… (scared, angry etc), oh really, tell me more about that.” At this point your Ego may want to rant.  It may have a lot to say!  Listen to what is being said in your mind, the busy voice in your head.  I keep listening until the Ego runs out of steam.  I do this with my clients and with myself.  You can speak to your Ego out loud, in your head or you can put a pen to paper and write out what it says.
  2. Your Ego is a big liar – if you can recognise in the moment, when you are having an Ego flare up, that your reaction is not the truth of all truths, but rather, your Ego going off on one (generally from old an old wound), you will be saving yourself a huge amount of pain and suffering.  When we are having an Ego reaction, it feels so very real.  We feel completely justified by the feelings that we are experiencing in this moment.  The truth is, this is just your reaction, and it is your responsibility to shift it.  Owning your reaction can be really challenging and it is not always easy to remember to do this in the moment.  Which brings us to the next step….
  3. Meditate – meditation is the practice of being with yourself and all of life in the moment.  When you have an Ego reaction, meditate.  This allows you to be with the reaction and observe it.  It is very important that we sit with the feelings and allow them to be there, otherwise we tend to hold those feelings and store them in the body.  Bringing our awareness and attention to the feelings gives the reaction space to  shift.  It may take time, but the Ego will eventually calm down and become still.  I have a Free online meditation E-Course called ‘4 Weeks to Free Your Mind’ , to help you get started with your meditation practice.

The Ego is designed to protect you

images-1I liken the Ego to an overprotective body guard.  At the tiniest sign of danger, this body guard jumps up into action and starts to attack any potential threat.  The problem is that this sort of reaction is way over the top.  This body guard perceives danger where there actually isn’t any.

At some point in your past, there was a time when you needed this body guard.  You employed him to keep you safe.  And he did a good job, didn’t he?  But now, this body guard is actually getting in the way of you enjoying your life.  Not only does he keep you safe from the ‘bad’ stuff, but he blocks out all of the ‘good’ stuff as well.  He is blocking you from having a healthy relationship, he is blocking you from finding your purpose in life, he is blocking you from financial abundance, he is blocking your from a life of peace and joy.  It’s time to fire your body guard! Give thanks and send him on to early retirement.  He deserves a holiday.

The Ego doesn’t want to die

The Ego’s job is to thrive and stay alive.  When we start doing any work to change ourselves, the Ego perceives this as a threat to it’s life.  This is one of the reasons why people can find it so hard to make a change in their life.  You may get the feeling to go to a professional for help, but then this Ego voice jumps in and starts telling you all sorts of reasons why you shouldn’t move forward with this person or program i.e. not enough time, not enough money, they can’t be trusted, this won’t work, I will do it later.  It’s quite a tricky business catching these Ego thoughts and discerning what is truth for you or not.   Ask yourself in these moments “Is this the truth or is this my Ego?”

It’s time to die, sorry old friend

images-2When my clients get on the healing table, it’s time to say goodbye to the Ego.  There is all sorts of resistance that can come up when I am working on people in the beginning of a session.  The Ego is clinging for dear life!  Poor little Ego.  Slowly but surely, as the healing session goes on, we put that Ego to sleep and eventually it dies.  This is what I call an Ego death.

The fascinating thing is that we are terrified of this death, the Ego is terrified of it’s death, but when we finally let go, it feels amazing.   There is a sense of peace, stillness in the mind, freedom and a feeling of coming home.  It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

We use so much energy fighting, resisting and holding back, but ultimately we are only holding back from ourselves, from our true nature.

If you would like help calming down your Ego to find greater peace of mind, please book in for a Free telephone or Skype conversation with Lara to find out how she can help you.  Feel free to contact Lara directly on or call 0207 503 3356/07813 568 069.